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Saturday, February 20, 2010

Laurel n Hardy 10

When Laurel n Hardy were kids, they were in school.
Teacher wanted to calm down the students and started a conversation:
Children, if I sell all my properties and give the money on charity, will I go to heaven?
All the students said "No"
Teacher: Children, if I clean the church everyday will I then go to heaven?
Hardy: No Madam
Teacher: Then what should I do to go to heaven?
Laurel: You need to die first!
Laurel: Hardy, why are you looking dejected?
Hardy: Laurel, two years ago I gave a hand loan of two lakh rupees to Chris for a plastic surgery to his face. When I went to his home to ask for a repayment I found that he vacated his home. Now I can't even recognise him even if he crosses my path. What should I do?

Friday, February 19, 2010

Questions n answers 10

Why does the judge hold a hammer in his hand?
To remind the suspects that if they tell lies he can nail them.
Why is the lawyer sad?
Because his wife filed a suit in the court and hired another lawyer for defense.
Why is the banker giving so much of respect to the customer.
To make sure that the customer repays the unsecured loan.
How do you treat a constipation patient who didn't help himself unload for a week?
Call 21212121 - the septic tank cleaning experts

Sunday, January 17, 2010

laurel n hardy 9

Laurel and Hardy went to a liquor bar and had about six pegs when they started talking-
Laurel: I am fearless. I don't fear anyone in the world.
Hardy: is it? By the way why did your wife come here?
Laurel immediatley hid himself under the table: Where....? where is she? Tell her I am not here!
Laurel: Hardy, I want to do exercises every morning.
Hardy with a smile: that's so nice. But you have been telling me the same thing for the past sixty years.
Laurel and Hardy go to an orchestra -
Hardy: Laurel, shall we go home the drum beats are not rhythmic and I am getting a headache.
Laurel: Hardy, please bear with me. This orchestra is much better than the one my wife organises everyday at home.
Hardy: What is that orchestra at home.
Laurel: She switches on the radio full volume and bangs me as if I were drums.
Laurel: Hardy, did the xyz fitness centre reduce your weight with the weight loss program advertised by them?
Hardy: Laurel, they have reduced the weight of my purse instead of me.
numerous funny jokes! Laurel jokes, Hardy jokes, doctor jokes, family jokes, lawyer jokes, animal jokes, sports jokes, relationship jokes, social jokes, trivial jokes, questions answers jokes and more!